Tonight I'm sitting in my lovely Kandra's room watching Walk the Line. I remember once a nice Walmart worker told me I looked like June Carter in the pillow aisle. One of the nicest things ever said to me, even if it wasn't true.
This weekend, just like every other, was incredibly eventful. Highs, lows, and in betweens from Friday-Sunday. I'm learning to be more patient than I have ever had to be. The thing is, it's starting to get easier, because I want the outcome to be what I want it to be. Time could be the only thing to make that happen. My heart aches when I'm not patient, but its slowly duct taped when I'm surrounded by my friends and music. It's making this waiting game a whole lot easier. I only wish it was known that I am never as patient as I have been. I wish it was known that I'm not asking for the world. I wish it was known that I'm not really asking for anything at all. But, I will wait. I'll wait a long time if I have to, because my eyes have been opened through this whole experience. Opened to something bigger than I thought. Opened to opportunity. It's sad, though, that most important things are not left up to me at all. I sometimes like to think I have a pretty good head on my shoulders, and I'm still not left to much decision making.
I've been so scared for so long. Been scared to give my heart to someone I can only hope won't give it back. I've been wrong so many times. Just when I try time and time again, its making my faith wear thin. But, as I've been told and as I tell people on an almost daily basis good things come to those who wait. So here I am, waiting. Waiting for so many things. For every aspect of my future to unfold. Life is somewhat of a waiting room during these years of my life. I cannot wait to get to the real deal. I have to wonder, though, if waiting is the real deal?
I have so much to say, but my brain cells are dying on me right now, more tomorrow.
"Can't make my own decisions
Or make any with precision
Well maybe you should tie me up
So I don't go where you don't want me
You say that I been changing
that I'm not just simply aging
Yeah how could that be logical?
Just keep on cramming ideas down my throat
You don't have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror
If God's the game you're playing
Well we must get more acquainted
Because it has to be so lonely
To be the only one who's holy
It's just my humble opinion
But it's one that I believe in
You don't deserve a point of view
If the only thing you see is you."
